The Problems of the Youth Period

Regarding this age, parents face a question: how should they behave with young people without losing their authority? Teenagers want more freedom and independence, and if they are taught and guided correctly, they are capable of taking on certain functions and performing them excellently. On the other hand, in previous conversations you said that in order to maintain a connection with them, one must be an educator-friend and a parent-friend to them.

That is not enough. A father will have no authority over his son if there is no higher authority above them both. After all, the father must set an example for the child of how to relate to authority. A child learns from examples. Do I show him that I myself acknowledge someone's authority? If I do not show him this, he will not obey me. He sees me as free, taking no one into account, and he will be the same: no admonitions or pressures will help. I must show that I too bow before a higher authority, and I teach him the same attitude toward me, because we both submit to a higher authority.

Do you mean the child's grandfather?

It does not matter who it is: a grandfather, a leader, a folk sage to whom people turn for advice. But there must be an example of authority—if I want to teach this to the child.

What kind of authority is this?

A force that stands above me: it determines everything, and I carry it out.

Could this be the father, a wise person, or the upper force?

The upper force is the most reliable of all, because it includes everything within itself.

But it is harder for a child to perceive.

Adults do not perceive it easily either. There is a concept before which everyone bows, and the child must have such an example.

Parents usually try to restrict their children, but they do not succeed, and a struggle begins.

And what can be done by force?

Nothing! The child says: "What will you do to me? I will leave home."

That is what they say to both parents and teachers.

In our generation this happens everywhere. In my view, this is good: we are getting rid of the notion of authority that existed before—father, grandfather, neighbors, relatives, and so on. Today we understand that we need some higher authority. For our own sake and for the sake of our children, we will be forced to accept as absolute a certain higher power of Nature. It compels us toward unity. We must show the child how logical and important it is in life to connect with other people in order to achieve harmony with all of Nature. This corresponds to the conclusions of science and psychology. We are speaking about the method of bringing ourselves into correspondence with the general Nature of which we are a part.

Although we are a part of Nature, we do not feel it, we are not used to seeing ourselves that way.

We do not worship; we investigate and reveal the upper force. We pass on to our children knowledge from which they receive a method of living. Moreover, as comrades, together with them, we act toward attaining the upper force.

And is the difference in age between us and our children not a mark of authority?

No. Being beside me, the child becomes a comrade and feels that, for self-realization, he must also be a son. If we strive for equivalence of qualities with the general Nature, then this striving of ours affects us on all levels. The child does not know how to grow. He simply accepts examples and develops. Only the need to develop comes from him, and Nature supplies all the rest. Suddenly reason, sensitivity, and understanding appear in him. All we can do is marvel: where does this come from? It is the same here. If we interact with Nature, wishing to attain connection and understanding with it, then this affects adults just as it affects children.

Because it indicates the direction?

Yes. And to grow on our own, we lack the mind [to do so]. We observe what happens to humanity throughout history.

But how can this be realized if humanity has no inclination to reveal the upper force of Nature?

The concept of "the upper force" is confusing. It is better to say that we gradually come to know the general Nature, revealing that it is governed by a single force. Albert Einstein so strove to reveal it! In principle, physicists today are approaching its revelation. But for our own well-being and for the proper upbringing of children and their adaptation to a new reality—to be connected within integral Nature—the main thing for us is to understand this Nature that is being revealed to us, investigating and understanding it with our reason, without fanaticism, mysticism, or prayers. We know four forces of Nature: electromagnetism, gravity, and the strong and weak nuclear interactions. Today we stand on the threshold of discovering a fifth, generalizing, fundamental force. It manifests in our world as a "maternal" one. It is precisely its quality that is now manifesting in Nature—the quality of the whole universe, governed by the force of bestowal, of complete interaction. That is why we suddenly reveal interconnection, globality, and integrality within humanity. This is the force that realizes the general program of Nature: to bring man, in his development, to a likeness of itself.

The ordinary person does not investigate the force of gravity—it does not interest him…

But investigating the general force of Nature is essential for us; our very existence depends on it. Today, not knowing the program of Nature, we cannot resolve any of our crises. And when it comes to our children, the problem becomes simply unbearable. Meanwhile, we will achieve success with our children and youth, so that through our examples we will be able to convince those who doubt.

What is required of the ordinary person?

To heed our advice—he simply has no other choice. Nature shows us that only when we are similar to it is our state felt as comfortable. Therefore we must study what "the global integral system of Nature" means for human society and realize its conditions. Otherwise we bring about ever greater crises.

I see wonderful examples here [with you]. First of all, the children are very independent and mature. Their ability to observe, reflect, and express their thoughts is far above the norm. Isolated examples like this can be found in other places too, but here it applies to everyone. The ability of children aged 10–12 to articulate their observations is simply astounding. In addition, I see in them a great creative spark, well-rounded development, and an individual approach rather than the mechanical carrying out of instructions. They are used to seeking a solution rather than waiting for someone to come and help them complete the task. The inner calm of the teenagers is striking, and the age of maturation can hardly be called calm. They too are restless, a little boastful and brash, but one senses in them an inner calm that is difficult for me to explain.

These are already consequences. In addition to our lessons with them, we give the child what is within us. He grows in contact with an adult environment and absorbs what he sees around him. This obligates us…