Implementing the Method of Upbringing from an Early Age — The Beginning

In previous talks you said that after birth a child needs an environment resembling the mother's womb. He should stay as close to the mother as possible and under her care. You defined that this period lasts until the age of three, and throughout this entire time the child should be as close to the mother as possible.

In many cultures it is even customary for the mother to tie the child to herself.

This is characteristic of cultures close to Nature. But in Western culture the child is handed over very early to the care of another person — a nanny.

In order to develop properly, he must constantly feel around himself adults who help him. It is as though he is being held in an adult's arms, and from there he instructs and controls the adult.

Do these adults necessarily have to be his parents, or can they be caregivers?

Naturally, the child needs the mother most of all. However, literally from his very first days the child looks out into the world. If we could awaken within ourselves the impressions of life, we would see that we were watching adults and observing their actions from our very first days in this world. We absorbed everything and understood much of what adults do, we criticized them, but we could not say it. A child lying in the crib can look at an adult in this way.

Do you mean to say that if we looked at the world through an infant's eyes, we would see that adults make many mistakes?

They look at us not according to the age of their bodies, but in a far more mature way. Therefore, if we give the child proper development in the very earliest period, according to his nature, we will discover in him an enormous potential for development — he understands everything. He cannot make contact with us due to the absence of channels of communication, but communication is an artificial thing developed by our world. From the standpoint of Nature, he can perceive the world seriously, maturely, and critically.

You said that a child should be treated according to his nature. How is this expressed in relation to the infant age?

He must be treated as though inwardly he is grown, and only outwardly, in his body, is he limited. Such an approach is more beneficial for the child; he will understand us better. By speaking to him in a "baby voice," we hold back his development.

Numerous psychological methods say that a human being is a social creature. A child develops not alone but in society: together with the mother, in a process of interaction. Yet even in modern upbringing he is somewhat isolated.

If we look at the development of the child's physical body, then indeed, until the age of two or three he plays alone, and only from the age of three does he begin to feel the need for a partner.

Even if he does not play with anyone, other people still interest him. He takes them as an example, he is interested in them as in a thing.

This can be used as a springboard for social development. Let us, after all, include the child in a group, but not in such a way that he simply plays in the corner. His egoistic nature pushes him toward solitude, and we will try to counter it — gradually, in a measured and gentle way demonstrating to him group activities with other children. In this way, naturally — for a habit becomes second nature — we will accustom him to unity.

What specifically is meant by unity?

Connection with other children, interaction for the purpose of integrating into the group, communication through actions. Children should be drawn into activities of a kind that cannot be carried out alone.

At the age of two or three?

Even earlier. I am speaking of the age before three, for after that the child egoistically understands that it is worth interacting with others. But we can play with him in this form earlier — from six months onward.

If I understand correctly, it does not matter what we do with the child; what matters is the direction in which we want to develop him. This direction is entirely different. For today we want to develop the child faster.

To develop him within his egoistic nature. But in the modern world, which is developing toward globalization, we need to raise an integral person, as a social unit: he is unique and special, because through his uniqueness he serves society. He must absorb that it is precisely his connection with society that saves him and society, ensuring safety and prosperity, and that interaction leads to success.

Naturally, a child before the age of three does not perceive society, but if we begin to work with him in this way, then gradually, by the force of habit, we will change his nature?

The child feels that all our actions are strange, to say nothing of the relationships among us. He is able to see each person and evaluate his role in relation to himself. If we develop in him a social approach, we will see that he can benefit from it. Since a habit becomes second nature, it will be recorded in his subconscious that it is good to be connected with others. And this will happen even before his egoism toward his neighbor begins to grow. In this way we forestall the illness with the remedy. And we must not forget that the child evaluates us from within himself with a mature gaze.

So the child must be given the sensation that being together is pleasant and better?

Being together is not only pleasant and better; you can also achieve everything you want. He receives what he desires on the condition that he performs the action together with others. And here the learning proceeds on a mechanical level, as a fact. He remembers these actions as a fact, as norms of behavior: whatever I may want, in my action I must interact with someone, take another's desire into account. I give and receive, and then together we achieve something.

Does taking others into account mean constantly helping them, feeling them?

Yes, to the degree that nothing can be done without mutual participation.

Parents who have twins notice that twins grow up as a system. They never take something for themselves without giving to the other. Even when conflicts arise between them, they are constantly checking where the other is, constantly feeling each other. Do you mean something similar?

Yes. The main thing is that it takes root in the child's memory, feelings, understanding, and awareness that every action is natural when it is performed together — through someone or with someone's help. He gives and receives, and only in this way does he function. And the concept of "I am alone" simply does not exist. In this way we prepare the child for an integral life. He will not be closed off; he will be able to communicate easily, to establish connection. Such abilities are necessary for all professions; society needs such people. When such people come to govern society, the world will change — it will become harmonious, similar to Nature, safe.

And at what age do children begin to perceive a more global connection? Before the age of three they perceive one another partially, and then their perception expands: there is a world, and there is me in this world.

This depends on the environment in which they find themselves. Here the aspect of prompting is very important. Small children look at those who are a little older and want to do the same.

Consequently, development depends on the stimulus?

Development takes place through envy, and we must make use of this. We must give the child good examples so that he will feel envy.

Feel envy and want to be like them?

Yes. For a little one there is no more respected person than an older brother.

Today mothers say that children develop faster…

…this is indeed so. There is an opinion that it is connected to nutrition: our food undergoes certain processing. But that is not the point. We are going through a process that is bringing us closer to a transition into a new, perfect existence. The present generation is not the first — we are already lagging in this process, which began in the middle of the last century. That is why the children being born now possess qualities and demands corresponding to the new world. Their perception is aimed at a world without limitations in the categories of time, motion, and space. They feel a pull toward phenomena above our dimension, and we must provide them with information about the perception of integral reality.

From what age can this be done?

As early as possible. If we begin to tell them about it from the age of six, they will perceive it naturally. Sensory and logical connections will begin to form in them corresponding to the integral, higher dimension. Just as social upbringing should be organized for them from the very earliest age, so from the age of six they should be taught about the integral world.

And before the age of six, simply acquaint them with the surrounding Nature?

Yes, without going into it too deeply.

From the standpoint of psychology this is very dangerous, for if the child does not yet have an understanding of this reality, how can one speak to him about something additional?

But this reality, the egoistic individual reality, is false. It is better to introduce him at once into the relationships that Nature is already revealing in our society, even though we do not yet wish to conform to this rule.

From what age can this perception be developed so as not to frighten the child?

There is no cause for fear here — children accept this with pleasure, because it evokes in them a feeling of safety and confidence. The earlier we give a child integral skills of behavior, the more naturally he perceives them, adapts them within himself, and realizes them with others. Therefore there is no problem for him to understand, feel, and absorb the rules of integral behavior as naturally existing. And when we tell a child about the world, does he really understand and know what we know? Is our account a reality for him?

We will continue this conversation. Today we spoke about how an infant senses much more than we think. He perceives us, evaluates life, possesses a perception that must take shape. To realize this perception, it is necessary to organize games in which he interacts with other children — and only in this way does he achieve success. This strengthens in his consciousness the necessity of interconnection with others. And although at this age the child mainly needs the mother, it is worth, together with her, expanding the boundaries and introducing him into a society of peers. And then, even before the development of his egoistic nature, he will perceive that it is more correct to approach reality through unity.